Robert's LAE countdown is driving me insane. Thankfully there's no interview this year, because we all know how Betch gets during interviews. I know I shouldn't treat any test like it can define my overall relevance, but I'm shit scared. I've always felt invincible: if I tried hard enough, I can get anything I want. But the LAE is posing a serious threat to my Overall Awesomeness, and for the sake of self-preservation I've decided to outline a couple of options:

 

Plan A: Overall Awesomeness

Step 1: Take the LAE.

Step 2: Ace it.

Step 3: Become a lawyer, work as a corporate tool until I can afford annual non-invasive fat surgery and get fake abs.

Step 4: Try to reclaim my soul by working pro bono.

 

Plan B: If At First You Don't Succeed...

Step 1: Take the LAE.

Step 2: Fail.

Step 3: Get a fulfilling career somewhere else. Save the world (or rule it, same banana anyway).

Step 4: Retake LAE during midlife crisis.

 

Plan C: Circumvention

Step 1: Fake illness on the morning of the LAE. (Migraine or diarrhea).

Step 2: Become a writer. (On good days, parang tae ko lang ang syntax ni fat Twilight writer lady.)

 

Plan D: Denial

Step 1: Take the LAE.

Step 2: Fail.

Step 3: Retake the LAE the following year.

Step 4: Fail.

Step 5: Reretake the LAE the next year.

Step 6: Fail.

Step 7: Fake own death, claim someone else's identity.

Step 8: Repeat steps 1-7 ad nauseam.

 

Plan E:mo

Step 1: Take the LAE.

Step 2: Fail.

Step 3: Inject Listerine into bloodstream.

 

But seriously, if I pass, magpapainom ako. If I fail, ohwell, Cherry owes me fifty pesos and I can always go to Yale. XD Mishee: I seriously hope nag-alay ka talaga ng itlog for me.